As I reflect on my mom’s hospice experience, I am reminded of my patient, Carolyn …
I have always admired Carolyn’s daughter as she took care of her mom 24/7. I don’t know how she did it and I doubt that I could be that selfless. My mother was on hospice and it was my 90-year-old dad who was caring for her. I lived 2,000 miles away, so it was impossible for me to be her caregiver. I also knew it was not what I wanted to do. In fact, I told my kids that if I ever needed full-time care, they should put me in a home and continue to live their lives. I would not want to be a burden to my family.
~ Messages from the Afterlife: Memoirs of a Hospice Nurse, p. 140
As I look back on those months when my mother was on hospice, I am filled with gratitude for the wonderful care and love that was provided for my mom and family. It was a blessing for my dad to have someone to call in the middle of the night when a crisis arose. Hospice evaluates the situation and sends a nurse to the home if the patient needs a nurse visit. My dad really appreciated having the bath aide come to their home three times a week to bathe my mom, shampoo her hair and help her get dressed. The hospice staff greeted my mom with a hug and kiss and my mom just loved the attention that was lavished on her.
Most people don’t realize that they can initiate hospice on their own by calling their local hospice and giving information about their loved one’s illness and history. The hospice supervisor will call the patient’s primary doctor to obtain orders for hospice if the patient is appropriate for this level of care. If the primary doctor doesn’t want to follow the patient, the hospice doctor will take over the case. It always saddened me when a patient came on service during their last week of life because the family and patient missed out on this wonderful service that is provided by Medicare A or their supplemental insurance.
My mother was able to cancel her supplemental insurance which saved her a lot of money because hospice thoroughly manages all aspects of end-of-life needs. My mother didn’t want or need painful and useless tests. At the end of her life, she was hospitalized under hospice care to manage her symptoms and then she was able to return home to die peacefully in her own bed. What a blessing that was to her because that’s where she wanted to die. I believe, without a doubt, that life goes on in another joyous dimension and that my mother is free!
