I was reflecting about the loss of my cat Bobby last July. I went through a denial stage because I didn’t send an email to my neighbors to see if anyone saw him. When someone is in denial, they’re trying to protect themselves by refusing to accept the truth about something that’s happening in their life.
My husband was out of town at the time and wasn’t due home for another four days. I didn’t want to deal with the possible loss of my cat and was hopeful for his return, but something told me otherwise.
Then came the tears.
It was late when my husband got home on Friday night, so we just kissed goodnight and went to bed. The next morning, he asked where Bobby was and I burst into tears. I told him what happened and we both cried.
It wasn’t until the next day when we were driving down the street that a neighbor asked if we had a grey cat. When we said we did, she said that she caught a coyote on video coming out of our front yard and then told us where we could find Bobby’s remains. My brave husband went to the location and confirmed our worst thoughts. The tears started again.
I wanted to run off to my Al-Anon meeting where I could find love and comfort, but decided to stay with my husband and support him through our terrible loss.
Grieving is an intermittent thing for me whether it’s my cat, Mom or Dad. I came across a Mother’s Day card my mother sent me years ago and the tears just flowed. There are days that I miss my Mom so much. Even though I can feel her presence at times, it’s not the same as hugging and kissing her.
I also grieve my Dad who passed away right before my book got published in April 2018. I was blessed to be by his side and then I had some time delays with the publishing process. I trusted and knew there was a reason for it as my father’s death made my book come full circle with my dedication to him.